Now married, Marc and Debra support each other through life’s ups and downs. Their advice? Listen to your body, seek answers, and don’t face challenges alone.
Laurie Johnson was diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer in 2007 when she was around 40 years old. Laurie Johnson was diagnosed with breast cancer in her 40s. Despite the late-stage diagnosis, she had excellent medical care and a supportive family that helped her through treatment. L
Tim Sashko recounted his cancer journey, which began on November 17, 2020, when he experienced involuntary arm movements. Initially diagnosed with a hemorrhagic brain tumor, he underwent surgery on November 19, 2020, at Evanston Hospital.
Do those checkups, do those checkups. No excuses. Don't care what you got going on. Mark it on the calendar, make sure you get there. It's very important to do those wellness checks.
“We have always been close. My sisters and brothers and children all live close here. We have always been a close-knit family. So we got a lot of support from everybody.
Everybody was very kind to us. And when you live in a smaller community you get a lot more support because you know a lot of people. Even the doctors and nurses were kind, and then the contributions – they gave us gas money to go to Rochester. So that was a great help because it was very expensive, all those trips.”
“They don’t want to be treated like they have cancer, because it’s not something they want to identify themselves… I mean maybe I’m just speaking from a personal stance, but it’s important to realize they’re still just the same as you. And while they have all this fundraising for them, it’s for the greater cause. You don’t want to be singled out as like the bald kid and all that other stuff.”
“Be positive, because your mind is really powerful and it can help you. I also really believe that Eastern medicine is just as important as Western and all the things like acupuncture and massage and yoga and meditation are super important because they help your spirit as well as your body. And I think it helps you stay strong because you need to eat really well and work out and you know, stay as healthy as you can. I think…a lot of those things help with the side effects of the western medicine to not be as bad.”
“Cancer doesn’t discriminate between religions, sexual orientation, anything like that. The one thing none of us can afford to do is to hang on to any preconceived prejudices. You love everybody for who they are and it doesn’t matter, because we all share the fear of an uncertain future. So it brings out the realness in people. It brings out the thing that is most important to people. You don’t have the luxury of the petty thoughts. In that way, some people are actually blessed to have cancer come into their lives because they can cut through and can learn some lessons as they search deep inside themselves.”
“I am fortunate, it is a funny thing to say that you are fortunate when you have cancer but I mean I am fortunate I have seen people who are much worse off than I am, much sicker than I am. And I have seen people who are much younger than me much sicker than me, which I mean is just really a terrible thing to see.”
“I think my husband [was the best support] because he was there all the time. We went in for consultation with the doctor after surgery. The doctor had asked Ron, “How do you feel about this?” And Ron said, “It wasn’t her fault. It’s no different than her losing an arm or a leg.” And the doctor said, “You two will be fine. You’d be surprised how many husbands will divorce their wives because they lost a breast.” This really surprised me because I thought: it can’t be love. I mean, how can you adore a part of the body like that, you know? So I felt very secure with my marriage.”
“When you go through something like this….the strength at the beginning you think I can’t do this. And then as you do you think wow and you become a stronger person and through that. And also sometimes I think that humor and just trying to find something light and something funny out of something that is just tragic. I think the one Christmas we sent out Christmas cards and we all put on red bandannas, all five of us, by our Christmas tree (because she had no hair) and so that was. And we got more people that said that was such a neat thing. Or pictures of my kids putting my wig on, or just stuff like that, just little things like that. You need them, you need to find them some humor and something lighter in the situation. It helps.”
“In the Marine Corps, we’re taught this. When the enemy attacks, you don’t let the enemy attack. You assault the enemy. You press into them. So we got as much information as we could. He started eating right, started getting himself squared away and everything like that. He went through a nasty bout of chemo, lost a lot of weight. My brother…God bless him. My brother was a very vain man. He had long hair and he lost all of it. Well, he went into remission for a little while, got through the chemo. He just kept fighting.”
“So I have already been the caregiver, I’ve been the recipient of cancer and I’ve been re-diagnosed with cancer. I understand the stress of being a caregiver, especially when you go from having a spouse to being a caregiver for that spouse. You know you’re a caregiver for your children, you’re a caregiver for your elderly parents; you don’t expect being a caregiver for your spouse, you expect to work together.”
“The day I was diagnosed, I had never felt better in my whole life. And then to be told you have cancer, you just spend a while just even comprehending what that means. In the 6 years, as merle said it, it really is a journey. It’s not journey you go through by yourself, the caregiver role is incredibly important. So it’s a journey that impacts and affects the whole family.”
“I think it’s very important to have things to look forward to. I really had a lot to look forward to, and I think it really helped. I live in a retirement center now, and when I watched the people there and the ones who were active were the ones who had something to do, some purpose for their life. I really think they need a purpose. If they have a purpose, they’re much more outgoing and active and everything. Right now, I travel, I travel a lot.”
“I think the hardest part for me of having her gone is that she is not here to enjoy my children. My husband and I feel really sad every day that she is not here. My mom used to love hot fudge sundaes, so as a memorial for her and because all of her friends were in Chicago and her funeral was here, I had a big party for her in Chicago at the North Shore Hilton up in the top, because she used to like it there. It’s really easy for all her friends to get to and we had ice cream sundaes. And everyone got to talk. And there were 100 people there… It was a nice goodbye for her.”
“I can say the best thing that I did was, my wife started a care pages blog for me. I update my blog everyday on what goes on. I've got over 150 people that follow it every day. They can write messages back to me on the blog so I don't get the 50 phone calls a day anymore. … When you're feeling down and out, or lack of energy cause of your chemo, that's a huge emotional tool, a great tool so I recommend that to anybody, start a care pages blog.”
“I can say the best thing that I did was, my wife started a care pages blog for me. I update my blog everyday on what goes on. I've got over 150 people that follow it every day. They can write messages back to me on the blog so I don't get the 50 phone calls a day anymore. … When you're feeling down and out, or lack of energy cause of your chemo, that's a huge emotional tool, a great tool so I recommend that to anybody, start a care pages blog.”
“A lot of people tell me I’m lucky. But I think that’s a shame that people have that mindset that if you survive cancer, you’re lucky. We need to change that perception. Let’s make it to where a cancer diagnosis isn’t such a dire thing. We need to help more people get better treatments, so that someday if someone says, ‘I had cancer but I don’t anymore,’ it’s going to be just as common as someone saying, ‘I broke my leg when I was a kid.’ One day I hope we see that in the future. Maybe not in my lifetime, but hopefully in my daughter’s.”
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