The team had to come into Union Station 11 am on Thursday. We boxed the bikes to be able to put them on the train and then my family and friends hung out with me downtown until I had to board at 5:00. We have been on the train for roughly 27 hours now. So far it has been... Interesting. We have all gotten to the point of being pretty delirious and sleep deprived. I am sitting next to Khrystyna so we talked and listened to music all of Thursday. We tried to sleep, but it was super uncomfortable so we woke up every few hours. Today it is Friday and I spent a good chunk of the day reading The Mysterious Benedict Society in the dining cart. I was reading by a window as we were passing through West Virginia so it was a beautiful view. I wanted to read this book last semester, but unfortunately ran out of time. The rest of the day I just sat around and talked to my teammates. We are three hours away from New York City and we just found out that our stayover for tonight didn't work out. Everyone is currently looking for a place for us to stay. We are most likely going to end up staying in hotel rooms. And in positive we are delirious because we find this situation funny and entertaining saying that it's okay because "it's the city that never sleeps" so it is appropriate for us to not sleep tonight............ So this never posted and a few hours later I am happy to say that we are safe in room 224 at Hotel Belclaire. Time to shower, get ready for bed, and wake up at 8:30 tomorrow morning. Zzzzz
Day 0: Getting to NYC
If there is one thing that I have learned today is that there is more than one way to get to New York City. We took the 50 Cardinal from Union Station in Chicago bound for the Big Apple via Indianapolis, Cincinnati, West Virginia, Virginia, Washington DC (our current location), and Philadelphia. It is, without any delay, about a 27 hour ride. We are currently just over 24 hours into it, but have had some decent delays around DC.West Virginia is beautiful. It is so mountainous and the train tracks ran right along a river for several hours. We saw people fishing and white water rafting. It all looked like a lot of fun. Virginia had some beautiful farmland among rolling hills and mountains. We are just pulling more into Washington DC. You can see the Capitol building (under construction), and a few other landmarks perhaps.Many of us brought snacks for the trip and some have bought some additional food. There have been games of Bananagrams (kind of like scrabble), some interesting versions of I-Spy, crafts, reading and plenty of sleeping. We have figured out our schedule for tomorrow and how to get to our stay-over tonight.The van has made it to NYC safely and is just waiting for us to arrive :)I think that we are all ready to be off the train as much fun as it is. Soon. Kind of. It will be great when we can ride bikes!!! Less than 48 hours until our first ride.
Hurry up and Wait
Assistant Ride Leader's Log. Bike Date -2.15-05-21.23:30I'm finding it increasingly ironic that Illini 4000 starts with a 20+ hour train ride. That is, what will be my greatest athletic feat to date will start with nearly 24 hours of sitting around. Despite all of the horror stories of soreness and exhaustion, I find myself wishing for it as I am finding it very difficult to sleep on the comfy, reclining train chairs. The first 4 - 5 if you count the time change - hours have been filled with an epic Uno game, lots of reading, a hilariously "photoshopped" photo, and some delicious deep dish pizza. Hopefully the next 15 hours will be great as well.
Bike Trek
America. The new frontier. These are the adventures of the bicycle Enterprise. It's continuing mission: to cure cancer, to seek out new friendships and new feats, to boldly go where this bike hasn't gone before.Assistant Ride Leader's Log. Bike Date -3.15-05-20.23:15As I finish - a.k.a. start - packing for our train ride tomorrow, I can't help but feel a whole bundle of excitement, nervousness, uncertainty, and confidence. I'm still not sure that all of the stuff I plan to bring will fit in my backpack, but I've become increasingly aware of how each of these things is trivial when compared to the cause for which we all ride. My personal mission for the ride, in addition to that of the Illini 4000, is to support those around me to encourage them to keep on keeping on. I have been very fortunate to have so many people supporting me throughout my life. I now want to spread that feeling, because facing the unknown and taking risks is always easier knowing you will have someone to lean on when the going gets tough.Now to finish packing and get some sleep!
Type A Peronality
Days Until Departure: 1Days Until Pedaling: 4I have no shame in saying I have a type A personality. I love lists, keeping things organized, and being on time. I can get stressed easily because I'm a perfectionist, I am efficient, and I have a plan for every possible scenario. Between my planning and list making I've also become a very goal oriented person. Needless to say, when I began planning and prepping for 72 days with #I4K on the road my type A personality began to show in full force. I made a list of things to do and it looks a little something like this...THANK YOUSAn astounding 70 people helped by donating towards my fundraising, and an even larger network of individuals have given me support through words of encouragement and well wishes! THIS IS CRAZY! I cannot describe how amazing it is to know family and friends from Arkansas, Wisconsin, Illinois, Texas, Iowa, Florida, Minnesota, Maryland, and California are all rooting for our cause and standing behind the 2015 Illini 4000 Trek Bike America Team. All of these people are the reason I am able to get up and go this summer to fully support a cause I'm passionate about. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! A huge thanks is also needed to all of those in my personal life that have listened to me talk about this upcoming adventure, sometimes daily, and put up with it. To my roommates (Kenzie, Katie, and Kristen) and to my family (Mom, Dad, Siblings, Callie), thank you. To the people at work who I was sad to leave but am already looking forward to seeing again (Stacey, Stephanie, Matt, and team), thank you. To the team I'm about to unite with and will keep me going all summer long, thank you in advance.PACKSlowly but surely I am chipping away at filling the giant backpack we were all given which will carry everything needed for the next two and half months. This is no small feat. Between clothes and shoes and toiletries I don't have a ton of room left, but my need and love for organization is helping quite a bit.GOALSMy best friend and her mom got me a journal to bring along with me this summer and I've already begun to fill the pages. I spent a decent amount of time considering what it was I was hoping to accomplish this summer, and I've narrowed it down to what I call the three D's:
- Detach -- When else in my life am I going to have the opportunity to do something as amazing as cycling from coast to coast in support of a cause as close to my personal life as it could be?! I don't want to miss a single second of it by being too plugged-in. I'll be updating this blog from time-to-time and I'll be posting photos, but for the next two and half months I've given myself the goal of detaching from screens and being fully in the moment.
- Document -- No matter how the day goes, I plan to write in my journal everyday. Whether it be a word, sentence, or novel that can remind me of something funny or a challenge I faced, I want to be able to look back and remember as much as I can from this experience.
- Demolish -- 4,519 miles on a bike is going to no doubt suck at various moments, but I want to CRUSH IT! I've given myself the goal of getting through these miles and giving it my all. I want to demolish the challenge that lay ahead.
One day until the train leaves for NYC and I feel like I still have so much to do! Time to write up a new list and begin crossing things off in anticipation of the most challenging and rewarding summer I'll have ever experienced.
The Final Countdown
I can't sleep. anyone who knows me well knows that waking up at 5ish is actually kind of normal but I specifically told my mom that I may sleep in.....guess not.3 days ago I was graduating from the University of Illinois. In 3 days, I will be in New York City. I am not sure where the time went. Wasn't I going to go on some more bike rides before I left? I sure hope I can go on one this evening!so you may ask, are you nervous? I am definitely excited but I am a little more nervous about not having my belongings all stowed away in an organized fashion before I leave. As I learned many of us students who recently returned home with (a) carload(s) worth of stuff have successfully taken over our parents house.But this is all so exciting. Last night I had the opportunity to go to an Illini 4000 send-off reception hosted by the Western Suburbs Alumni Club. It was awesome to meet the alums and tell them about our upcoming journey. And I got to spend some quality time with my mom in the car as we went :)Today my to-do list is as follows (for the most part):1. Sew patches onto bag to make it identifiable easily2. Lay out clothes for trip3. Put away items from college not going on bike trip (This bullet point is actually like five bullet points)4. Go set up a pharmacy account with a nation-wide pharmacy5. Write some more thank you notes for donors6. Meet with local newspaper about the trip (I am excited about this!)7. Go on a bike ride!!!8. Remove bike attachments9. Clean any remaining bike apparel10. Finish packingLuckily my first task is a quiet one so I will not wake anyone else up, but I guess I am glad I woke up early- I have a lot to do! And I know many of the riders do....so until next time, you know what I will be up to!
T-SHIRTS
First off, this is my first post on the Illini 4000 website. So to those of you keeping up with it... hi, my name is Angelica. BUT it is not my first post. Instead of taking advantage of the nifty ability to post right on this site, I decided to make a separate blog. I have been blogging anything I could since practically the first day I found out I was going to be a part of I4K. From this point on I will attempt to double post anything I post there on to here. I am not going to repost prior stuff though so if you are interested in reading about my Illini 4000 experience up to this point please visit http://illini4000experience.tumblr.com/Also, T-SHIRTS! I have not met my fundraising goal yet unfortunately. But, I do have a lot of fundraising ideas which I am currently working on!! One of which is a booster of shirt I designed. If you are interested in purchasing one, buy one before May 24th please before the booster closes. Check them out at https://www.booster.com/illini4000lilgelThank you!!
Preparing for the Ride: Test Ride
As you may or may not know, each Saturday after our spring break have been devoted to getting in large mile days. We started out with 30 miles the first week and gradually worked up to today's route.... So here we go!Today's Overview:Theme: "I get by with a little help from my friends"Start/End location: Champaign, IL/Fairmount, ILMileage: 92.6 +/- however many miles you went off route :)Weather: Sunny and not very cloudy at all, winds not bad in AM, low near 50 high in the upper 80'sHighlight: We crossed out first state line! (Indiana)Today could not have been a more beautiful day to ride a bike in the name of fighting cancer. This would be our first full day in the life of what it is like to be on Illini 4000. We arrived at the Armory on the U of I campus and packed the van (generously provided by the Young family for our use). And then we were off.Our first leg of the ride was to Kickapoo State Park, and about 28 miles. It warmed up pretty quickly but the ride was going great and many groups were just cruising along. Once we got to Kickapoo, we took a short break, ate some snacks and filled up our water bottles and were then back on the road.We literally turned out of the parking lot that we were in onto our first hill of the day. And by hill, it was actually, well a hill. I never knew the park had so many hills and i am pretty sure we went each of them...and down. Climbing hills sounds like the more harder of the two, which is valid (especially when everyone climbs very differently); however, downhills present their own challenges. As we all go up hills differently, we go downhills differently. The group I was in loved flying downhills....but no big surprise to anyone who has ridden in a car with me, I road the brake (fluttering them of course to avoid them overheating). Going fast with such little tires is just not my cup of tea.Anyhow, we did it. Thought the worst was over. But before I talk about that....we crossed a state line!!! We made it to Indiana!!!! So cool. Shortly after crossing the state line, we stopped for lunch, which was great because I was starving, and so were others. So we all got to eat 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Probably the best thing ever :)The next part of the road in Indiana was tough: there's hills there, steep hills. At this rate, mountain climbing on a bike seem pretty intimidating, but I know when we get there, we will all climb mountains and see beautiful sites.Um....we came back to Illinois and are settling down now to sleep at Fairmount Evangelical Methodist church that has been so generous to let us stay with them! Ate some spaghetti and lentils which was sooooo yummy and so needed. I am not sure if I have ever had lentils but they are pretty remarkable. Definitely ok with eating that meal everyday.After dinner and such, we had two wonderful woman who are both students at the Univeristy of Illinois come and give portraits of how Cancer has impacted their life. Grace, a 2014 rider, and Christina, who is actually in my major sat down and really opened up. I am so honored to call both of these women my friends. I got the opportunity to sit in on Christina's portrait where she talked about her father being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer about 2 and a half years ago. It was hard to hear about how on top of being a student, she worked hard to spend time with her father and stay connected from afar before her father passed away last summer. She talked about the grief process being continuous and how even know, it is still very impactful on her life. But Christina stressed the importance of God and community in her life. Her faith has grown throughout all of this and her friendships and appreciation for those around her is incredible. One piece of advice for anyone looking to comfort a friend in this situation is that, even though asking what a person needs is great, a grieving person often doesn't know. So sometimes it is about looking for those needs and filling them without asking.So I am new to this blogging thing and trying to develop a style, but I would like to include some personal reflections about the ride from my standpoint. It's been a long day. I had senior design due yesterday and this week was crazy, but I had been looking forward to the ride all week. And then it came. I was a little under the weather. My stomach hurt which is just not the best to cycle with, but I knew I could push through. I am so thankful for the group I road with today because they were great. They encouraged me to keep going and were so kind to slow the pace when I just was not feeling well. That is where the theme of today's ride comes from because I could not have done it without them. Most of my life, I have been someone to run and bike on my own and being with a group has been a huge difference, and I can't imagine a better group to ride with this summer.So with that, going to bed so that I can be ready to wake up and ride again tomorrow
"Make the Magic": To Be a Kid Again
Saturday night I had the amazing opportunity to attend a fundraising event called "Make the Magic" for Camp Kesem, one of Illini 4000's major beneficiaries (i.e. who we donate to). I had never been to a fundraising gala event like this and was excited to have the opportunity to dress up and wear my high heels, all for a good cause of course. When I went to the event though, I knew it wasn't about the dress I chose to wear, the heals I put on, my makeup or my hair. It was about the "forgotten" population that is impacted by cancer: the children of parents who have a cancer diagnosis. There are support groups for patients and for spouses, but what about the kids? Through the stories of counselors and parents, I learned that kids who are in this situation have to grow up fast. They have to grow up faster than their peers. Maybe they ask questions like, "Is Mom/Dad going to die?" I can't imagine going through the experience at a young age.Camp Kesem is a national organization in which college students fundraise and organize camps for local/regional kids who have a parent or parents who have or have had cancer. The organization began in 2000 at Stanford University and have since grown substantially to have several collegiate-lead camping experiences.During the night, we heard from some pretty remarkable people, including Ashley Young (Illini 4000's Team Development Director), Luna (a Camp Kesem Counselor) and Mrs. Emmerd (a camper parent & cancer survivor- yay!). Ashley spoke about Illini 4000's commitment to Camp Kesem through our annual donation that comes from our fundraising. She also mentioned that Camp Kesem Illinois and Illini 4000 were founded just a year apart, so the organizations have been pretty close (it was fate). Luna spoke about her experience going from a shy, lost student on the huge campus of U of I to finding a group that genuinely cared about her and her success. She also spoke about some of the relationships she has formed with campers and the unspeakable bond that forms as a result of an awesome week of everyone (counselors included) being a kid again.Then Mrs. Emmerd spoke. She has 4 children whose ages at the time of her cancer diagnosis were 2-10 (about? I did not write it down...). One of the first things she mentioned was that, "cancer is expensive". True fact. According to NPR, cancer patients are 2.68x more likely to declare bankruptcy. Even in remission, though, health care costs go up as your insurance rate has undoubtedly increased. Vacations were just not something that the family could prioritize high on their list of expenses. When Mrs. Emmerd came across a flyer for a free camp for kids whose parents had cancer, she was intrigued by the idea. She hesitantly dropped off 2 of her 4 kids at Camp Kesem Illinois the first year the camp started, where they joined 6 other kids and 24 counselors. When she picked up her kids at the end of camp, which happened to be the hottest week of the year and the kids slept outside, it was all smiles. There were no complaints of the heat or having to use an outhouse, but instead happiness that hadn't necessarily been present as much at home. All four of her kids have gone/are going to Camp Kesem Illinois and it has been just an amazing experience that has had a huge impact on the family. You should have seen them all. The felt so strongly about the experience they had at camp, that it had helped them develop as a kid to have people not look at you funny because your parent is sick.But let me tell you, this is a small, but growing organization. Typically Camp Kesem Illinois has about 60 campers during 1 week and this year, they will be having 2 weeks of camp to accommodate about 120 campers. Sometimes it is hard to give money to an organization when you don't exactly know where the money goes to. With Illini 4000, the money we raise goes to several organizations (see the FAQ's for a breakdown). Going to this event just made me so excited to raise as much money for I4K as possible because of the direct impact that money that is donated to has on the lives of even the "forgotten" cancer-impacted populations. Let me tell you, kids are no longer forgotten because of organizations like this. So, with that, back to another week closer to reaching our team fundraising goal of $150,000! We are OVER halfway there.
Teamwork: The Catalyst for any Journey
As you may or may not know, I have a pretty strong background in chemistry (as a Chemical Engineering student), so please do bear with my analogy. If you are not well versed in chemistry for whatever reason, a catalyst is something that is used in a reaction to lower the activation energy. Imagine you have to push a rock over a hill. The catalyst actually decreases the size of that hill. It's pretty magical. Having a catalyst does not necessarily mean that it won't be hard to get that hypothetical rock over the hill, but it sure is easier.I have found that throughout many of my journeys or challenges, my catalyst of choice would be to have a team. I grew up playing various sports and participating on teams for competitions, but I think when I came to college, I began to view the concept of a team much differently. Instead of a group that puts their best players on the field, shows their strength to achieve a specific goal of winning, I see a team as a group of people who have a similar goal, but don't necessarily have the same goal. A team is a group of people that can be real around each other. They can pick each other up when one is struggling through encouragement and support (and sometimes food) and they don't pass judgement on each other, because everyone defines success differently and that is OK.From the portraits I have had the honor of reading, it is amazing to hear about the teamwork that went into caring for a single patient. From hospital staff, technicians and nurses to family members, childhood friends and people who were only acquaintances before the diagnosis. Around these people, a patient can be strong and happy, or they can be discouraged or weakened. No matter what the patient is feeling, though, they can rely on their teammates to be there.Hearing a friend was diagnosed is such a surreal experience. This happened to me my senior year of high school when I learned that my friend would not be attending classes, but chemotherapy instead. This was incredibly hard for me to understand, and at such a young age! I undoubtedly cried and was very upset, but my friend just hugged me and lifted me up, even though I wasn't the one with the diagnosis. I was a very small part of the huge team she had cheering her on, but having so much support made the journey more bearable (she is coming up on her 5 year remission soon!).Illini 4000 has been such a great experience so far in terms of getting 29 new best friends :) In addition to that, though, I have learned how to work in a team. We have a lot of group training that we do together, which is interesting when some people started out transitioning for Ironman/triathlon training and others hadn't visited the gym in...a long time. I fell somewhere in between on that spectrum which was cool, because I had people who would push me to get better and I was able to push others to receive their maximum potential. Now, our success will be measured in the miles we ride, the money we raise and the portraits we collect and not necessarily the speed at which we complete the ride (though we will stay on schedule *knock on wood*).I cannot imagine doing Illini 4000 without the amazing team. I have trained in the past by myself and I can reach my goals, but without the catalyst of teamwork, it definitely takes a lot more. Above that, though, I cannot imagine fighting cancer without a team. I know that it has been done before, but it is so encouraging to see the strong support groups around an individual. I think the overall message that I would like to convey in this not very concise blog post, is that no matter what kind of a journey you find yourself in, having people around you who you can build up and who can build you up is incredible. Allow others to push you to your limits. And offer sincere encouragement to others. Pushing rocks up hills isn't easy, but sure is easier with a smaller hill (or more people pushing the rock).
Dreams Becoming Reality
When I walked onto campus to start my last year of college, I became increasingly aware of how my life will be very different in one short year. At first, a shift from full time student to full time job seems like it will only be amazing. No homework, having an income, and a new city full of new experiences. However, it also struck me that once I start working, summer break will be a thing of the past. My mind started buzzing with all of the things I should do to make this last summer count: backpack through Europe, spend some time at the pool, join a summer intramural team, etc. All of them sounded like they'd be fun, but then I remembered hearing about Illini 4000. I began dreaming of being a part of such an amazing group of people who work hard year round to pull off this huge philanthropic endeavor.After five months of meetings, training, fundraising, and bonding, it all still feels surreal at times. Now that it is warm enough to ride my bike outside, my dream is finally feeling like reality. I'm sure it won't be fully tangible until we start our journey in New York, but I get more excited every day for what is to come.
Inspiration
So today I am writing this because the board has breathing down our necks, telling us to make blog posts because apparently people not only read them, but they actually enjoy them! I know, it sounds as weird to me as it does to you. However, in all seriousness I was encouraged, moved, and inspired today by this story about this chick named Kayla Montgomery from North Carolina. I've never met her, never talked to her, but I watched this E60 report on her today and the strength and determination she displays is quite impressive.Now that I've got you hooked, you're probably wondering, "What the heck did she do?". Kayla is one of the fastest female 5k runners in North Carolina. As a runner, this already has me impressed. I am honestly a fairly average 5k runner on the competitive circuit and would probably be considered a good 5k runner by any average joe. The 5k is long, it is hard, its all about determination and will. But back to Kayla. I forgot to mention one thing earlier, Kayla has MS (multiple sclerosis) and it effects her lower body. Her body attacks it's own nerves, and her symptoms flare when her body temperature raises above it's normal levels. Like when she's running. What does this mean for Kayla? She loses all feeling in her legs when she runs. ALL FEELING. We're talking like they could have been cut off for all she knows. Her legs power through on sheer muscle memory and her will. When she crosses the finish line, her coach has to catch her because she can't control her legs enough to stand up in place. She then has to ice her legs to get her body temp down and get the feeling to return to legs. Running with the pain of "the burn" sucks, but man I can't even begin to think about what it is like to feel absolutely nothing. To not know if the feeling is going to return to her legs. To me, she is brave to continue running with the condition that she has. In the interview of her, she says she does it because she wants to enjoy what she has, while she has it.Watching her story makes part of me want to drop the classes I'm in and pick up the easiest ones I can find so that I can just train every day as hard as I can to really become good at the 800. It makes me want to run, to race, to put everything out there on a track. At there very same time, I know that the reason that I am here at UIUC is that same drive to push myself. It's the reason I chose to take these more challenging chemistry classes over the easier lower level ones. It's the reason that I want to someday go to med school and become a doctor. It's the reason that I am going to be biking across a freaking continent this summer. I have to challenge myself to see what I can achieve because I don't want to look back later in life just to see what I COULD have been. I want to look a back and be amazed by what I BECAME, what I did and what I accomplished. The only thing that I am guaranteed in this life is death. I have no clue how long my heath will continue to be the way that it is, I just know that I need to take advantage of it while it lasts. This summer I will be pushing my physical limits, seeing the true face of this country, talking to people whose lives have been changed in ways that I cannot even imagine. Hopefully I will come out a more wise person, a stronger person, and ready to continue to push myself. Kayla's Story
Alas, we meet again
So, for those of you who have kept up to date with the I4k blog over the last few years, my name might look familiar, owing to the fact that I did the ride in 2013.Well, as luck and various turns of fate would have it, I'm back in 2015, here this time to serve as the ride leader for this fantastic installment of the Illini 4000 after serving on the board of directors for the intervening year of 2014 and this year as well.As riders, we're encouraged to keep the public (and particularly all the parents, grandparents, and other interested family members) up to date on what it is we're doing with the blog posts on this website, which is something I admittedly did fairly infrequently my first time as a rider, so it's something I'm going to attempt to do better this time around. And what better time to start than 3:40 in the morning when I should be sleeping or doing any number of more school related tasks, right? (So I guess bear with me if it's not the most well constructed piece of writing)If you would have asked me any time prior to, oh, say, November, if I planned on doing something like this again, I would have chuckled heartily, and offered some sort of remark along the lines of "well, while I certainly had a great experience the first time, I just don't know if it's something I could do again, ya know?" But, as we selected this years team and needed someone to serve as sherpa, it eventually fell to me, and it is a responsibility I've come to embrace. Of course, as a late round draft pick so to speak, it's created some logistical problems to solve and that's what I've been dealing with the last week or so. Should I get a new bike, or use the same one I used before, itself purchased used before me from another former I4k-er? What's the best way to get the van back from California? Will I have enough money to buy ice cream over the summer (more important of a question than you could possibly imagine)? You know, day to day stuff. Peripheral, organizational stuff you just need to get sorted out when dealing with this kind of thing.But as I was consulting the schedule and figuring out ways to drive back from San Francisco and return our rental van earlier today, I saw Sean's blog post on the sidebar and proceeded to read it (which you should do now if you haven't already). It made me stop and prioritize a bit. The organizational stuff, the bikes, that's all well and good and needs to be sorted out, but it's not really the point. It's just the means to the end, and the ends in our case is to do whatever we can to help those with cancer triumph over the disease. To show those who are in that fight that there are people actively trying to research and fund different ways to help them. To show them, perhaps most importantly, that there's a motley group of (soon to be) sun tanned, sweaty, but enthusiastic college students who care.Last week my mom's uncle passed away after a long battle with cancer, and his funeral was this weekend. With school, I4k things, and other obligations, I couldn't make it up to the services, but as I sit here at 4 am, read Sean's post, think about Uncle Rich, and plan for the coming summer, it's necessary to take a moment to just think about what it is we do, and who we do it for. I had a list in my head the first time I did the ride of all the people I knew who had gone up against cancer, whether themselves or through a loved one. And as I gear up to do the ride again, that list (that entirely too long of a list), is still in my head. The problem is, it keeps getting longer.So I guess you could say our work is cut out for us in a number of different ways, just as it is for all those who participate in ways to combat the disease. But as we prepare for another summer of doing our part in the effort, there's always the hope that maybe one day the fight will be won, and we won't have to anymore.
The Game has Changed
So this is my first blog post here on the I4K website. I want to apologize now because this isn't going to be a happy one but it is important, to me at least. Going into the Illini 4000, I hadn't really been affected by cancer like most people had. I hadn't lost any direct relatives yet but I knew that there were some relatives that I didn't know all that well that were going through it. I really was in it for the journey and the adventure of a lifetime as well as helping the fantastic cause this organization has undertaken. However, everything in this world happens for a reason.On December 30th, my grandfather went to urgent care because he was feeling ill and was diagnosed with pneumonia. Two days later, he was too week to even get to the bathroom without help and the ambulance took him to the hospital. On January 1st, 2015, he was diagnosed with leukemia. Happy New Year's. However, there was a bright side. A couple days later and after more tests, doctors estimated that his chance of survival with chemotherapy was 70%. It would probably be a long battle and tough to watch but he was going to survive. There were some complications though. The leukemia had caused his platelet count drastically drop and he had an overabundance of white blood cells. So many white blood cells that they were starting to build up in his arteries. On top of all of this, his respiratory system was still giving him fits. Therefore, before they could even start chemo, they had to get his body to a state that could handle it. By Saturday, the 3rd, he was starting to look a lot better and there were plans to start his chemo today. Between the hours of 3am and 5am this morning, he suffered a massive stroke that prevented the nurse from waking him up. A combination of a stroke the previous year and the complications with his blood due to the leukemia are thought to be the cause of this stroke. Sadly, his platelet count was so low that doctors couldn't go in and drain the excess blood from his brain without causing him to bleed out. By 11:30 am this morning, my grandfather had passed away in his sleep.Part of me thinks that this may have been a much better way for him to go than for him to suffer through months of chemotherapy while his family watched his body and health slowly deteriorate. Then again, maybe a few more months of life would have been better than him going this quickly. The hardest part for everyone right now is just how quickly he went. I mean, right before Christmas he visited our house and seem to be as healthy as a ox. And then over the course of 5 days he went from diagnosed with leukemia to gone. Now instead of riding just for the adventure and just for the thrill of it, I ride in his loving memory.-Sean
A Snapshot of the I4K Ride
Illini 4000's very own Eric Baehr made a video of the Illini 4000 ride! Check it out!
A Snapshot of the Illini 4000 Experience
A Journey's Start
This morning I went on a quick bike ride. It was a beautiful, 61 degrees when I left. Not too many trees have began to turn colors, but walnut trees have dropped their walnut "pods" as I call them. They are these almost tennis-ball sized road hazards for cyclists. I had fortunately did not have an accident. As I returned home, my fear that I had a slow leak in my rear tire was confirmed. As someone not well-versed at bike maintenance, I pulled up youtube videos, because although I can change my bike tube and put the tire back on, I really cannot put my rear wheel back on.I think that will probably change as I begin my journey with Illini 4000. I am so excited to be apart of these team and I cannot wait to get to know my new teammates. So with that, I've got 8 months. 8 months to learn how to efficiently put my rear wheel back on my bike. 8 months learn about the cancer experience. 8 months to learn how to blog so someone would actually want to read it. 8 months to raise money for a cause I feel so strongly about. 8 months until the real journey begins.
Reflections from a 4489.6-mile journey: from NYC (over mountains, beyond mountains) to the City by the Bay
(Note: A PDF file of this post can be downloaded by clicking Blandry_i4k_reflections or at this link https://archive.illini4000.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Blandry_i4k_reflections.pdf ) Hello Everyone,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support, words of encouragement, positive thoughts, good vibes, and prayers that you sent my way as well as to the entire team throughout our 71-day trek across the nation. Although now it feels very surreal, straight out of a dream. The photos and the portraits are seemingly the only tangible proof that reminds me of this summer's journey. Click here for album of selected images and videos taken along the trip. Full website to the selected images and videos is below: https://plus.google.com/photos/105748354359203799591/albums/6050265609439281665?sort=1 This journey was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Without a doubt it was the most difficult undertaking I have attempted to this point in my life. Prior to one year ago, I would never have fathomed in my wildest dreams to attempt--let alone complete--this epic journey. Unbeknownst to me during the ride, but now apparent in retrospect, is that the ride was nothing short of a paradigm shift in my life. With such an impact, I thought it best to take time and reflect back on this extraordinary event. The following is my feeble attempt to collect my reflections regarding the journey.
Rider, rider glowing bright in the daylight: I consider myself lucky and blessed to have had the opportunity to help contribute to what I had hoped to be the ultimate purpose for the ride: that the team and I in our bright orange jerseys could be glowing beacons of hope and inspiration to everyone we encountered. From the many emails and blog comments that I received from dear old friends, as well as new encounters such as the following, it seemed that my ultimate hope was being realized:
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"Wow... these video portraits are incredibly powerful! You are really capturing an important chronicle of the human face of what cancer has done. I just love these vignettes you have shared with me... the backdrops, the ambient noises, the simplicity mixed with the depth of each of these dear souls is really, really touching. I am very grateful to you and to the whole Illini team for what you are doing." -M.P.
"My husband and I first want to say congratulations on completing such a huge undertaking. I am sure it must have been a difficult ride, but your purpose was so rewarding. We met you in La Pine, OR. (suburb of Bend). Your team was taking shelter from the rain in McDonald's. Since it was raining and the roads were ugly, my husband and I decided to stop for a cup of coffee. (We were driving a 1929 Model A Ford from Washington state to southern California - our home). You were speaking to some folks at another table about your group/trip and I overheard. I mentioned to you that in October 2012, we lost our 41 year old daughter, Lisa, to rectal cancer. You asked if I could do a portrait project, but I was way too emotional to speak at that moment. I thank you for adding me to your group e-mail list so that we were able to follow along on your daily route and we really enjoyed reading "A day in the life of an Illini 4000 rider". Thank you and your group again for this ride dedication and I hope one day the cure will be found for cancers of all types." -S.J."WOW… I am blown away at the dedication you guys have for this amazing ride. Thank you Blake for why you ride!! We have been following the ride, keeping up with blogs, and photos etc. VERY INSPIRING!! Keep it up. Stay safe!!" - P.S."Suck it up Blake, ride through that. Its just water dude!" -B.B. "WOW.....you are looking good. Stay on course" -J.P.
"Dang dude! You are almost in Portland!!! It is impressive all you guys have covered already. Steady pace. Great job. We have been following your progress." -J.A.
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As the ride was serving as a vehicle to spread hope for others, I constantly found myself digging ever deeper to put every ounce of my energy into helping maintain the brightness of our beacons throughout the ride (being the Portraits Coordinator on the ride further strengthened my motivation). Rarely did I stop to think of how the ride was becoming my own vehicle for internal change through all the difficulties and adversities that were encountered. Looking back, the ride will forever serve as a constant reminder as to the countless daily battles that people are fighting against cancer and other illnesses, which often have no clear finish lines in sight and still people manage to press on. These souls are the true inspiration for which we as riders were seeking out, bringing their stories into the limelight, and helping to form a connected web of support that can help others encountering similar difficult situations.
Riding a year-long emotional roller coaster: There is a simple yet powerful quote that I came to more fully understand and appreciate; "I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person." ― Walt Whitman, Song of Myself. Without a doubt, this ride was indeed my way of becoming a wounded person on all levels: physical, emotional, and mental. On the physical side, I am not an avid cyclist let alone a very athletic person in general. I had nothing to prove to myself about putting 4000+ miles under my belt. The pre-ride training that occurred from Oct. 2013 to May 2014 was quite interesting. I distinctly remember that running was my least favorite activity--that is until I did the first training ride which was 30-miles in March 2014 after which my body was utterly sore and muscles completely drained of energy (I think I had mild case of hypoglycemia). I thought it was utterly impossible for someone to bike 75 miles a day let alone repeating that day after day. This physical effort was further compounded by emotional and mental demands. Those that know me well would say that I am kindhearted and can often easily empathize with others. This was slightly problematic, since I never had a dry eye conducting the portraits and could feel an emotional connection between each of the people telling their stories which lingered in my mind long after the interview (and will forever be imprinted in my mind). Furthermore, I would start thinking meta-cognitively about the interview. For example, I was always blown away that total strangers were trusting and sharing their personal stories with me (and the team), Could I do the same thing?; How would I cope will all the pain they have been through?; Would I be able to handle the situation as graceful, positive, and inspirational or would I become jaded? It really started to put life in perspective. While hearing story after story as the ride progressed, my emotions would be highly impacted , but with each new story that I heard, I found that my compassion grew. It wasn't that I was less compassionate to the prior story, but I guess it is akin to having a second child, you never love the first one less, your heart grows to love both fully.
Funny thing is that just when I thought I was at my physical limit and emotional energy was at the lowest and I could not continue anymore, there would always be something that would occur. These occurrences could be as simple as the next 20-mile rest stop unexpectedly occurring (It is amazing how much taking just a 15-min break off of the bike can do.) Other times, after fighting strong headwinds pretty much all day, the winds would change direction or the roads would change direction so that we had tailwinds which greatly changed the amount of effort required. Sometimes road conditions would slope downward in grade after having been mostly uphill or random people would cheer us on by the road side or beep their horns in support. The simple random act of these encouraging sounds really impacted all of us and continually sustained us. On special occasions, when at my absolute limits, butterflies or ladybugs would land on my arms or legs; my heart would immediately swell up and tears would quietly stream behind the privacy and protection of my dark sunglasses, quickly evaporating as they trickled down to my sun-kissed cheeks, allowing them to be unbeknownst to anyone. (If you are not familiar with the symbolic interpretation of when a butterflies lands on you click here and for ladybugs click here). The emotional roller coaster of highs and lows was constant throughout the journey; there was never a day that tears were not shed or large smiles had. Through it all I pushed, because this was exactly what I had signed up for and I wouldn't have had it any other way. The frequent change of emotions help me to truly appreciate all the complexities in life and to taste the sweeter side of life all the more.Furthermore, I used to consider myself a fairly tenacious person requiring little to no outside motivation, especially when it came to academic/professional pursuits (especially obtaining my PhD). However, for the first time in my life, I finally know how it feels to need the support of others to get through a difficult ordeal and it will forever deepen my sense to support others in their endeavors. Experience is often a wonderful yet painful teacher, which helps one truly understand and empathize with the concepts that we always knew and valued from the theoretical sense. Just like when we were children we did not always heed our parents advice and we ended up learning it the hard way.
On living too small: It is commonly said that "human beings are creatures of habit" and it is often easy for us to fall victim to our habits as we become entrenched in our daily grind. Thus, at times, we all have a tendency to live smaller than we are meant to live. We spend our time toiling for the next exam, promotion, deadline, paper, project, or idea. While this laser focus is often required to complete the task at hand, we must remember to take time, stop, breath, and enjoy the journey as much as the projected destination. It is incredibly rewarding to make one's dreams a reality; however, these dreams will always be bars that are persistently increasing and changing. Once one goal is realized there will always be another bar to set and achieve. This is great as it constantly drives us, but to lose one's self in the pursuit as we are constantly tweaking and "trying to control" all the factors in life to get us through or to that next level, we end up unintentionally limiting our view of the world. It happens so gradually that we are often unaware that it has occurred and family, friends, or new situations (which are more often unpleasant than not) help shake things up for us and provide us with opportunities to expand our view of the world if we so choose.
Eureka! B-Landry-ness!: On a final note, to be honest, being more than 10 years senior than every rider on the team was quite a concern for me. Could I physically keep up with them? Would I be able to relate to them or would I be the odd man out? As the ride progressed and I became affectionately referred to as "Papa Blake", many of my fears were mitigated. Being with this lively, intelligent, high-spirited, heart-felt, and dedicated group of younger people in conjunction with hearing countless stories from those impacted by cancer helped me to renew my inner-self, my "B-Landry-ness" (for lack of better wording). As previously mentioned, my perspective on life had narrowed. I am grateful for ALL the feelings of this year-long emotional roller coaster, and would not have wanted it any other way. The pain and heartache felt allowed the joyful times to be that much sweeter. Despite the enormous amount of pain and suffering we encountered, it seems that we always encountered more joy, inspiration, encouragement, and hope than I ever expected. Having a cancer diagnosis is extremely difficult but I was always blown away about how the proper perspective in conjunction with key prior experiences (either personal or learned via others) allowed people to make lemonade out of life's lemons.The one thing that I have learned is that no one is immune from life; we are all fighting our own internal struggles, whatever it maybe. The barista who always seems to be smiling while taking orders and serving coffee, to even your closest friends who seem to have the perfect life. The key is to open up to those that truly care about you and let them help you share the load. While it is often very difficult for us to be open and vulnerable to the people closest to us, the need of feeling connected to others is a fundamental human trait that we should not fight especially in difficult times when we need support more than ever. May the portraits that the team collected this year be a constant reminder that one is not alone during these difficult times, and may the interviews serve to help inspire, comfort, and provide wisdom to those that are in need of a little direction (which we all need at some point). Remember that this journey of 4489.6 miles began with a single pedal stroke despite the end being ever so distant and impossible to achieve. While we do not get to choose the hand we are dealt, we can control how we play the hand, and that can make all the difference in someone else's world as well as in your own world.Sincerely,BlakeP.S. Just because the 2014 ride has ended, I want everyone to know that I am still continuing to "fight cancer on two wheels" as a member of the Portraits Project committee. This academic year I will be helping to process all the videos we collected on the ride and get the edited versions on the www.portraitsproject.org website to be shared with the world. Also, if you would like to share your story or know of someone that would like to share a story or provide words of wisdom, advice, comments, inspiration, or encouragement, I (or anyone on the team) would be honored to listen regardless if it is recorded or not.
In the near future, I will be sending out links to some of the unedited videos. If they resonate with you please let met me know.
Upcoming Events
Illini 4000 has several exciting events in the next few weeks!Monday, September 1st: Come celebrate Illini 4000's 9th birthday with us with a short ride from the Ike to Jarling's Custard Cup. Meet outside the SDRP at 2pm to ride over. This event is open to everybody from prospective applicants to ride alumni!Tuesday, September 2nd: Following a 7pm info session in Lincoln Hall 1028, hang out with past riders and the current Board of Directors at Cocomero to learn a little bit more about the people involved in Illini 4000 in a more informal setting. If you are not attending the info session, you can meet us there around 7:45pm!Wednesday, September 3rd: The UIUC Underwear Mile is held at least once per semester, and the money raised is donated to Illini 4000! Run down Green Street in your underwear! Find out more at the Underwear Mile Facebook event: on.fb.me/1rESBH5Thursday, September 4th: The Portraits Project will be on display at the Illini Union Art Gallery from September 4th through September 28th! An opening reception will take place on the 4th at the gallery at 4:30pm. More information can be found on our earlier post: http://illini4000.org/2014/08/the-portraits-project-gallery/We also still have 3 info sessions before our application deadline. Dates and times are below; all info sessions are in Lincoln Hall 1028.Tuesday, September 2nd, 7pmMonday, September 8th, 6pmFriday, September 12th, 5pm
The Portraits Project Gallery!
Hello! The Portraits Project was chosen to display a number of Portraits in the Illini Union Art Gallery from September 4-28. The Art Gallery can be found in the northwest corner of the Student Union, at 1401 W Green St, Urbana.Please join us at our reception on the 4th of September at 4:30 in the gallery.If you cannot make it, be sure to check them out since they will be hanging for the rest of the month, and visit http://portraitsproject.org/