Hilary Rothert

Cancer Patient

Bend, OR

Biography

Hilary, a Deacon, mother, and wife, has been apart of First Presbyterian Church for 17 years. Her battle with cancer first began 9 years ago in 2015 when she was diagnosed with Stage 1C Ovarian cancer. After undergoing a surgery to remove almost all her female parts and her appendix she was given 5 years to live, however in 2020 she proved her prognoses wrong. After receiving that good news, her CT scan showed she now had Cholangiocarcinoma, where the bile ducts inside her liver had become cancerous. The tumor on her liver was tucked in the center of the two liver lobes which resulted in the loss of half of her liver. While hoping the end of her liver cancer was near, her annual mammogram revealed she had Stage Four Breast cancer. Unfortunately the margins weren’t clear so on January 2022, she made the choice to undergo a mastectomy.

PERSPECTIVE

As a cancer patient, nobody can do the journey for me. While I was in the hospital, a wonderful nurse came and sat with me and said there are three things you’re going to have to do now. Number one, you’re going to have to find a new normal because nothing is going to be the same. Number two, you’re going to have to focus on healing. And number three, cancer does not define you. I’ve tried to hold on to these ideas as I’ve gone through the three cancers, and I’ve also tried to share with people who try to be kind in their ignorance when they say to me, Hilary, you look great! I know I don’t because I’m very different from how I was. There are cancer paitents that become very inward and dwell on the big C. Im not there anymore, and I can’t dwell not it. I know what I have and I know what I have to do. It’s very difficult to find the positive, but I’m glad I have my faith. I will not give up. I dont want to give up. But that’s part of this journey I don’t have a say in.

PREPARING FOR GOODBYE

Everything is in order. My husband has been my rock all the way through it. He occasionally breaks down when we are having lunch, I’ll look up and see tears falling and he goes “what am I going to do without you?” I’ve talked to his men friends saying, I would like you to stay in touch with Steven, he is going to need you. My son Nicholas is quite stoic about this, he doesn’t show his emotions. My daughter, she thinks I’m going to die tomorrow. I’ve had a wonderful life. I have no regrets. This is my church family. People know my situation. I have a wonderful friendship with people here, I know that I am loved. And I know that I’m worthy. I‘m sad that I have been on the cancer journey, but I don’t regret it because I’ve learned so much from it. When the time comes, it will come.

I don't want to go. I still have lots of things that I would love to do. And I feel very grateful that I have had this time.