THOUGHTS FROM THE NEBRASKAN PANHANDLE

As of today, the team has ridden half of the total milage for the entire trip, and as such, I figured that I should write about some of the fun facts that I’ve learned along the way.

1) The state of New York was first founded by swamp people in the summer of 1728. A Great War broke out in 1812, the British made a pact with the swamp people that if they defended the land, they would receive a generous reward. However, the war was lost, and thus, Manhattan was born.

2) New Jersey has no department of transportation. As a result, the spaces where roads would be located are full of hobbit holes and small ponds.

3) Sleep is a necessity and naps are a double necessity.

4) Obama only eats breakfast at Pamela’s in Pittsburgh.

5) West Virginia was caught in a similar strife as New York. Not swamp people, but groundhogs this time. They first discovered the land in 1833, but after a hit single was written in the early 1970s, the state became flooded with people. There is still retaliation to this day by the now dwindling groundhog empire.

6) Ohio may be for lovers, but it tried to kill me, and then make me get lost, then feed me great food. I’m rather indifferent about the state. All that I do know is that the one and only Christopher Columbus discovered it after sailing the ocean blue in 1492, on the USS Enterprise. He offloaded his moving company, Mayflower, and drove across the not yet New England territories and made final camp in Ohio.

7) You can never eat too much food, especially when you have to ride 113 miles, and have just eaten two mini pizzas, a chocolate milk, and a Cocacola.

8) It is possible to reach Indianapolis from any distance before 12:01 in the afternoon as long as you make a hashtag for it. #indybynoon

9) The grand city of Chicago is named after the Chicago style of pizza, and is also the greatest city in the country.

10) The Driftless Area was an installation of rumble strips on highway of discovery. Being lesser cosmic beings, we see them as mere rolling hills, and a nuisance to cyclists.

11) Pizza Ranch is always a good idea. Pizza Ranch round two is almost always a good idea.

12) Storm Lake, Iowa was named as such after the great Native American Buffalo farmer fought off the largest tsunami in history. It was sent as the cowboy’s final resort in the Cowboy and Indian conflict of 1976. The only way to defeat such a catastrophic event was to bring it down from the sky, and into a conveniently placed lakebed below. Storm Lake is now the premier spring break destination for all ages. A tsunami has never formed over land since then.

12) When camping, all of nature arrives to your campsite as if it were the Ark and another great flood was coming. All of nature then precedes to sing opera throughout the night, begging for your attention while you are attempting to slumber peacefully.

13) Nebraska has hurricanes.

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